Yesterday, I stopped in the local farmer’s market to get a few things when I spotted some of the largest watermelons that I have ever seen. I mean they were HUGE. So huge that I called Suite Suzy & asked if she want me to get one.

Funny story is that I am not an lover of watermelon. In fact, I hate it!

What kind of Negro am I you ask?.?.?

I’m the type of Negro that likes no melon. None at all. You can have your watermelon, cantaloupe, honey dew, honey rock & anything else.

Even with my hatred of all things melon, I love watermelon candies, & I love the smell of a fresh watermelon being cut. The smell reminds me of Alabama; my home state.

The smell of cantaloupe makes me throw up in my mouth! I have also banned cantaloupe from my home because of the smell.

Unfortunately, Suite Suzy & the kids love cantaloupe but they only eat it when I’m not home.

So anyway, I get this huge watermelon home & the family goes crazy like I brought home lottery winnings. That bitch had to be at least 15 pounds or more.

One thing I wanted to do was to take a picture of me eating the watermelon kinda like this but I decided not to. I feared that the photo would wind up on Hot Ghetto Mess or worse.

So I decided on something a little classier if you will; a watermelon styled as a delicious dish.

With all this said, I present you with watermelon balls drizzled with fresh lime juice & mint.


  • All Black people LOVE watermelon
  • Fried chicken takes a back seat at a at a Black family reunion when watermelon is available


  • Historians say watermelons first grew in the middle of the Kalahari Desert (that’s on the continent of Africa if your dumb not in the know)
  • Watermelon is actually a vegetable and not a fruit
  • The watermelon was brought into America across the Atlantic oceans by African slaves