“Shug Avery: More than anything God love admiration.
Celie: You saying God is vain?
Shug Avery: No, not vain, just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.”
Although I do not believe in God, these line from the “Color Purple” some of my favorite lines ever.
As I mention in my last 2 posts, I went to a friend’s retirement party this past weekend, & one of the recurring themes was religion when friends & family took the podium to offer well wishes & stories of yesterday. Then there was this group prayer before dinner started. I was not surprised by of any of this because this is just how Negroes do. Before the prayer started, I was wishing that we were not asked to join hands & do some type of group prayer & luckily, we did not.
Anyway, I found the stories & other rhetoric laced with religion to be oddly comforting. I thought to myself, it is so nice to here how religion makes some people feel empowered & happy. I think we all need something to hold on to but for me religion/worship/false sense of security is not for me.
Lat year, during a conversation with my mom, she was like, boy you need to pray on that. I was like, I don’t do that no mo’. She was like why & I replied, I am not into that any longer & I don’t see the point. Either things will change for the better or they won’t. No matter what I have to keep moving on. She said she understood & sometimes wants to turn away from religion but cannot. Then she was like, I need to pray for your ass.
We have had a few arguments over my disbelief & it always ended with me saying, I respect you for your belief system, why can’t you respect me for mine. Then I always have to ask her, why Christians specifically are so quick to tell someone that they are going to hell just because they think differently. That usually ends the argument, then we go into, what are you having for dinner.
I have had similar conversations with friends & the topic is always so hot.
Most recently, my 2nd cousin Big Albert passed & his funeral is this Saturday. When my mom called to give me the news, I was like shit, I have tickets to the Red Bull Air Race. Today mom called & said the family hour was at 12 & the funeral was at 1230. My first question was why is the family hour only 30 minutes???
Moments later, I called Cousin Dee to let her know the times so we could figure out how we would make this happen with our other plans. I mentioned that I wanted to go to the family hour & dip out. I told her I was not in the mood for a long drawn out funeral, sermon, burial & repass. Shit by the time it is all over, it will be 8 damn pm. She agreed.
I love Big Albert & it was really time fro him to go. He had been sick for a while & after his stroke, things just went down a long road of bad health & extended care facility visits.
I think his wife was ready for it to be over too. Shit, the funeral is within the same week of his death & you know Niggas take at least 2 weeks to get in the ground. We gotta scrape up money because we don’t plan, then we gotta wait for our cousins to drive up from down south, then figure out were they all gone stay.
I hope Big Al’s spirit is where he wants it to be, if there is a place to be.
The Second Sixty-Eight / May 30, 2008
I hope Big Al is too…
BizyLizy / May 30, 2008
Oh…I love The Color Purple. Alice Walker is one of my most idolized authors.
I was surprised reading this to learn that you don’t believe in God, you seem to have such a strong spirituality about you.
I do know for certain that whether there is an afterlife or not, pieces of ourselves and the people we love are carried on within the lives we’ve touched. We each carry a unique part of others with us. Not one of us is an island.
However Big Al impacted your life in this way that was special to only you, is a part of him that continues to live. Like water ripples, how he touched your life, in some small or large way, effects the ripples of your own life, lapping into the edges of the people you touch.
Whether we realize or not, Big Al indirectly lives through these people as well…
Peace & Blessing…
P.S. Tell your mamma, that I’ll be praying for your ass, too. 🙂
Mochasiren / May 30, 2008
Hey Byg,
You know I just started reading your blog recently so forgive this question: Have you wrote about not believing in God in earlier posts? If so, let me know where so I can read them. I’m interested in your views about Christianity, religion, etc.
I do believe in God. However, I have always struggled with the “religious ritual” aspects. I do think it’s nice to fellowship but I’ve always seen my relationship with God as personal. When I pray I keep it real. In other words if I’m frustrated, or angry I don’t “sugarcoat”. I just lay it out there.
You are so talented and seem to have a good heart. You seem to tolerate what others believe. That’s how it should be. BTW, I’ve read your blogs about your name change and for some reason, I feel it somehow relates to how some of your friends and family feel about your non-belief. All I can say is keep writing what’s in your heart. I think you’re cool people. And if you don’t mind, since I do believe in God, I will pray for good things to keep cominng your way!!!
Peace.
Bygbaby / May 30, 2008
TSSE – Thx!!! Tomorrow is the big day. Paying my last respects then I am out that bitch after the family hour.
BizyLizy – growing up, my mother used to tell me that I was going to be a preacher one day, I aways said, no the hell I was not (paraphrasing).
I think spirituality is subjective & i am not so rigid to not believe in spiritual bonds & I think that this can be unrelated to overall religious beliefs. I hope that makes sense???
“P.S. Tell your mamma, that I’ll be praying for your ass, too. :)” She would laugh at this statement with joy as she took puffs from her cigarette.
Mochasiren – I have not done full posts related to my beliefs or lack there of, so technically, this is the first. I have in the past injected bits & pieces of being black & religious & or Christian. I have also lightly talked about reconciling Christianity and being Black throughout the Diaspora.
When I talk about this with friends they are put off but I have my rationale, they have theirs & we all feel that we are right. Bottom line is that no one will really know until the time comes.
You are right thinking about the connection with my name change. During the process& before, I started to have a change of heart on a few things that I once believed.
My Aunt Phyl once stated that I was just made at some Christians not the whole religion or God. I replied back, that I’m mad at all them bitches. She then gave me that look of don;t make me hit you!
“You are so talented and seem to have a good heart. You seem to tolerate what others believe. That’s how it should be.” Thx boo! We all need to be tolerant of each other & work through differences to be better people in general. One thing that I see misinterpreted across MOST religions is intolerance of difference. I mean, just think about how the Catholic church recently announced that they will excommunicate anyone who would attempt to ordain a woman as a priest and the woman herself. Is that something that any God would won’t.
My goal is to be the best me that I can be for my family, friends, community, Negro people, & myself. I feel this way as a matter of principle, because I have high morals not because I want 20 virgins if I get to heaven, or to sit at the right side of Jesus & his boys.
Bygbaby
Darius T. Williams / May 30, 2008
LOL – so yea, I learn MORE AND MORE about you as the times grow. I had no idea you didn’t believe in God, interesting. Don’t worry though – I’m one Christian who won’t be sending you to hell -lol.
Have a stellar weekend!
Disturbed Stranger / May 30, 2008
I love The Color Purple! I wanted to catch on theater but had to work 🙁
Believing in God and in an afterlife is good for the mind and soul, otherwise we wouldn’t build so much for later, we wouldn’t live life to the fullest.
AnnaC / May 30, 2008
I have been off the god thing for a while but not really talking about it with others… recently I tried to talk to a few people who know me well about it and received some strange and defensive reactions.
It surprised me because the fact that I don’t believe in a “god” that is keeping track of things behind the scene doesn’t contradict the way I live in any way… it certainly doesn’t make me evil or un-godly 😉 — but it scares people … I am not sure if they are able to respect my beliefs as I respect theirs; I get the distinct feeling that they don’t really care what I believe as long as I don’t talk about it — and in some way force them to have to choose?!
I was raised by very religious people (they still go to church EVERY DAY) and I love and respect their faith. They did their best to teach me that same faith by example not edict for which I will always be eternally grateful, but I have never been able to connect to the spirit the way they do. I admire the sense of comfort and protection they feel… I just don’t find it in the same ways.
When I hesitate from telling people, “I will pray for you,” in times of trouble, it bothers some people. I just have not been able to continue the facade for the sake of not hurting other people’s feelings.
It’s complicated… and yet, for me, it is so much more simple, it is just what it is. I take personal responsibility for the inevitable ups and downs… I am not waiting for a god to make it better or give me things that I want…
Hijabi Apprentice / May 30, 2008
I am sorry for your families loss. I know this is a serious post but LOL @
We gotta scrape up money because we don’t plan, then we gotta wait for our cousins to drive up from down south, then figure out were they all gone stay.
OMG this sounds like my father’s side of the family!!! Not to mention the head stone may come a bit later than the actual burial because Uncle Boo ‘nem didn’t have they’re money together.
Anyhow, I wanted to share this recipe with you too since you haven’t posted any of your yummy food pics in a minute ahem *hint* :
http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/007241moroccan_spiced_grilled_chicken_breasts.php
ha
BizyLizy / May 30, 2008
Byg…your comment about religious intolerance to Mochasiren reminded me of an old joke about a Southern Black preacher who was traveling from church to church to spread the message of God’s love. He was well-recieved by most, until he arrived at one white church, who were not very accepting. They refused to let him speak.
Dejected and disappointed, the preacher sits on the steps in front of the church, shaking his head. Finally, he asks God, “God…why won’t they let me in?”
And God says, “Hell if I know, they won’t let me in either!”
Bu-dump!
Bygbaby / May 31, 2008
Darius – “I had no idea you didn’t believe in God, interesting. Don’t worry though – I’m one Christian who won’t be sending you to hell -lol.” Cool, I can rest esy now. LOL
Disturbed Stranger – The show is awesome!!! We saw it twice in NYC & it just got better!
“Believing in God and in an afterlife is good for the mind and soul, otherwise we wouldn’t build so much for later, we wouldn’t live life to the fullest.” Are you familiar with the humanist movement where the believe that we should be living for a better day today & worry about the after life if & when we get there. I think they are on point with that.
As I mentioned above, it is important for me to be a good person (whatever that means) now. To be kind for possible rewards after death is selfish IMO. The bottom line is that we have to do what we think is right for ourselves.
Anna C – “recently I tried to talk to a few people who know me well about it and received some strange and defensive reactions.” Hmmm, you too huh???
I so feel everything you are saying. I have been in situations before when I heard some really fucked up shit & I just said, I will keep you in my thoughts or spontaneously vomit to shit the focus of the conversation.
Hijabi Apprentice – You know I cannot be all serious, gotta through the funny truth up in the mix!!! You know when my dad died, he did not plan & therefore shit was rough on me as I had to come up with the 6 or 7 thousands dollars to bury him etc. Bottom line is, the headstone was the last thing obtained about a year later. Ghetto, yes but it is what it is. The fucked up thing is, that I got him a really nice grave marker that had a bronze cup to hold flowers & do you know someone walked up in that bitch & stole it off the grave.
When we contacted the grave yard, they were like oh well. If I could co back in time, that nigga would have been cremated & sitting on the mantle as we speak. I went through so many changes surrounding his death & ghetto broke sisters, baby momma, nephews & nieces etc! You really learn who you can count on during turbulent life situations.
ANYWAYYYYYYYYYY. That recipe looks awesome & I just printed it off. May try it next weekend!!! I have to pull out the George Foreman grill since I threw away out BBQ pitt last year in a fit of esthetic rage. :::::::::Don’t ask:::::::::
BizyLizy – OK, that was funny as hell!!!
Bygbaby
Stephen Bess / May 31, 2008
Hey, what’s up brother. You’re right. As Christians, we should never determine the fate of another because we don’t know that person’s heart or what the Creator has planned for that person. I’m sorry about your cousin. I pray that he is in a good place. May he rest in peace. ~Peace
Invisible Woman / June 1, 2008
BB:
There is something about your blog that I really like…I always enjoy my time here, even tho I often don’t comment.
Just wanted you to know 🙂
Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T / June 2, 2008
thats the state flower of Tenn – the iris
great photo
NappTown / June 3, 2008
So sorry to hear of your loss. I just said good bye to my cousin last Friday. Only 21 years old. Very sad affair. And I am praying for all of our butts. LOL!
Bygbaby / June 4, 2008
Stephen – Thx!!!
IW – What, you be up in here not saying nuthin!!??.. LOL. Happy that you keep coming back!
Torrance – You just made me one fact smarter!
NappTown – Wow, that is young. Hope your family is doing well coping with the loss. OK, go ahead & pray…..
Bygbaby
muslimahlocs / June 10, 2008
how did i miss this post/rant about one of my favorite topics…intolerant christians. my family is littered with them. the most obnoxious ones always make it a point to let me know that they are praying for me to come back home to you know who. i have been praying for a cure for their religious bigotry but so far…they are still afflicted.
seriously, i am sorry for your loss. i hope you did something that truly honors the memory of your cousin.
Bygbaby / June 11, 2008
Muslimahlocs – “…my family is littered with them. the most obnoxious ones always make it a point to let me know that they are praying for me to come back home to you know who.” LOL, I can only imagine how much oil they are trying to throw on you in the name of “you know who”. LOL!!!!!
Thx for the condolences, I appreciate that!
Bygbaby