I have not given a Watermelon Award away in quite some time. Actually the last one I gave out was to Kanye West after he referred to light skinned Black video hoes as “mutts”. I think about who deserves a Watermelon Award all the time but never put it down on paper & basically talk shit to my friends about possible recipients.
Well now that the semester is coming to an end, and I’m feeling free; it’s time to issue some awards to some ghetto superstars.
The 1st award goes to Jeremiah Wright. Why? Well, because I think he should have held his tongue so that his former parishioner, mentee & friend Barack Obama could wrap up the Democratic nomination process. I have been watching the coverage of his antics since his appearance in Detroit (city of many fools) & I have not been impressed. He had the perfect opportunity to change national perceptions & all he did was make shit worse, a) for himself/reputation & b) for Barack.
Truth be told, I actually agree with a lot of what Wright has to say but there comes a point when a nigga needs to shut the fuck up especially when he is harming someone who has aspirations larger than thyself. Barack is trying to become the fucking president of the US, why would you open your mouth & possibly fuck that up???
Jeremiah put your foolish pride aside & let another brotha have the stage please. And while you are on the sidelines, please have a slice of watermelon!
The 2nd award goes to; you guessed it, Kwame Kilpatrick. Special K, why are you denying that you & Freaky Chris (Christine Beatty) never sent all them text messages? If you two did not send them, who in the fuck did. And do you really think that you are that important for someone to frame you? Muthafuckas dubbed the Hip Hop mayor are not all that important. Please look in the mirror & wake the fuck up! If you spent more time eating watermelon instead of Freak Chris, you would not be in this hot mess.
If Freaky Chris got her shit together & your hot dick & nuts off her mind, she would turn evidence on your ass. And speaking of hot dicks & nuts, Kwame must have fucked the shit out of her to have this bitch about to face time for his ass. Man, talk about dick whipped. He had her ass hypnotized. She needs to watch a few Alexyss K Tylor videos t o get out of her dick-oriented matrix!
The 3rd award goes to the nigga that got on the elliptical machine next to me at the gym yesterday (he also happens to be the gym hot mess of the week). Why did you come in the gym musty? Why did you have to get on the machine next to me & talk to your friend who was on elliptical machine to my right? I was sandwiched between to fools talking about absolutely nothing & loud as hell. The sad thing was both of their breath was off the chain & smelled like severe halitosis. I was surrounded by aroma of badussy (booty, dick & pussy) & crack head scented armpits. By the time I left the gym, I had a pounding funk induced headache.
Do you have any Watermelon Award recommendations for this week???
Carla / May 2, 2008
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
How about a nom for Nas and his Nigger album?
shea / May 2, 2008
lmao
lol
lol
oh- lawd; i love it!!!
i love it i love it i love it
whew
Darius T. Williams / May 2, 2008
I don’t have any per se – but that’s a fool that the funky guy came in and got on the machine next to you.
Stephen Bess / May 2, 2008
Yeah, the Rev. should have held his tongue and faded into the background — way behind the choir.
Tamra / May 3, 2008
I’m dyin… My sides hurt–thanks!
muslimahlocs / May 3, 2008
i hav eto agree with you about jw. although i agree with him @ quite a bit…now is definately not the time. i left him alone on my blog solely because i have given up on using profanity. thanks for the exhale.
Los Angelista / May 3, 2008
JW gets TWO watermelons and a bitch slap from Michelle.
And can we give one to Kim Porter for taking Puffy’s sorry behind back yet again… she needs to watch some Alexyss K. Tylor too.
KC / May 3, 2008
Wow- I don’t know you, but I am glad I stumbled upon your blog. I love the Watermelon award concept and am here LMAO! I have too many nominees to list!
Lola Gets / May 3, 2008
Im with Angelista on this one: Porter needs to move in with Alexyss Taylor and get some one on one personal coaching.
Well, now that I think about it, so does that Beatty chick: Shes got nothing left after this affair, and shes allowing herself to be hung out to dry by former-hot-dick-and-nuts and that is a no no. That heifer needs to sing, sang like a canary and give up all the T to save herself!
L
Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T / May 3, 2008
man im so tired, i dont know of who more wright or Kwame
Lola Gets / May 5, 2008
Ok that pic of Negro wit Watermelon is wrong, just wrong!
L
The Second Sixty-Eight / May 5, 2008
Hold up MAN!!! How you only gonna count to three when you actually gave out four? Cause Mz Beatty definitely deserves one herself!
Oh. And give Kanye another one too. That is most definitely one muthafukka the needs to shut the fuck up!
And I agree with everybody above me too.
Bygbaby / May 6, 2008
Lola – You know I’m tacky!!!
TSSE – I could not give her a full watermelon although she needs one, so that is why I gave her an honorable mention & a slice.
Bygbaby
AnnaC / May 8, 2008
check out the list they are compiling of most influential and least influential black folks at news and notes (NPR)
http://www.npr.org/blogs/newsandviews/2008/05/whos_on_your_list_the_most_and.html#commentSection
Naturally Sophia / May 8, 2008
Come over and visit my blog regarding this bad azz kid. I always love your perspectives on parenting and would love your opinion.
Bygbaby / May 8, 2008
AnnaC – WTF, Marla Gibbs??? She is influential for any housekeepers out there that watch the Jefferson’s who wanna jack up their boss. Honestly, why would someone even mention her, that is a mess right there!
Naturally Sophia – On my way
Bygbaby
AnnaC / May 8, 2008
Farai’s comment on the talkback session was “I hope people who are listed as least influential won’t be calling me” — I am guessing it is all in your perspective… I am thinking that if you can name the person then he/she is defacto influential.
Personally, I love Marla…but I also enjoyed the Jeffersons…on their own show and on All in the Family, so not sure if I am the right person to ask about this one.
It just made me think again on your challenge to think of who the other black folks are that have done something that no one talks about..
BabyI'mAStar / May 15, 2008
Funny as hell.. I am at my desk dying.