Flashback: Last Saturday Suite Suzy checked our home voicemail & found 3 missed messages from her Dr’s office who was calling to schedule her for another mammogram because the one she had earlier in the week had an abnormal finding. After she got the message, she called me to share & I was totally fucked up as she was also. I got scared & depressed but Suite Suzy remained calm but concerned.
Over the weekend we talked about what a positive breast cancer screening would mean, how we would survive amongst many other things. The conversations were scenario based but yet still very frightening just to have to even think about it. Chemo, mastectomy, radiation, taking care of the kids, providing strong support to each other etc.
Moving Forward: 1st thing Monday, Suite Suzy called her Dr’s office to get in for another mammogram. She got in touch with a scheduler who could only fit her in on March 21, 2008 & she accepted the appointment. After making that appointment that was a month away, she called me to give me an update. Upon hearing the scheduled date, I flipped the fuck out! If they saw a spot on the films, why in the fuck are they waiting a month to get you in to test further???!!!
Immediately, I started thinking about the report that was issued last year about Black women receiving poor breast care vs their white counterpart. I was not about to let my boo slip between the cracks & become some fucked up statistic; no mutha fucka, not my boo.
Taking Action: So after I got my mind right & focused my energy toward getting an appointment sooner, I called a connection & pulled a few strings to get Suite Suzy seen sooner. 1 day later (this past Wednesday) after some phone tag & 3 emails, my boo was finally scheduled to go for more testing yesterday. This was great news & a partial relief for both of us.
So yesterday Suite Suzy goes to her appointment & 5 breast scans later a radiology tech came to her & informed her that her test were negative. The spot that kept showing up was a mole. She was like what??? Then she though oh yeah I do have a small mole.
Feeling Free: So it’s now 330 Thursday afternoon & Suite Suzy calls me to tell me the news & I almost peed on myself, I was so fucking relieved!!! We both sighed loudly as if a humongous weight was lifted off of out chest. After all was aid & done, I got mad! If I did not have a hook up, we would have had to wait in agony to get this news. On the flip side, what if it was a cancer; it would have had a whole month to grow WTF!!!
Reflection: Not everyone has a connection to key people in key areas like I do & it is a damn shame that if something is potentially life critical, you have to wait for weeks to get diagnostic test. The funny thing is that we were talking last week & I brought up the fact that she should look into changing her health plan so that she can go to the health system that the girls & I get care from. I like my job & think the employer is great but my boo has had way to many things go wrong when receiving some healthcare services.
The Jump Off: Since all the drama is over & her breast is now longer sore from being smashed numerous times, we celebrated by having a desert that I picked up on the way home from class last night.
Life is a damn trip, so I am happy that I have someone to navigate the intricacies with a woman who can maintain her cool when I lose it & let my emotions take over.
Suite Suzy, if you are reading this, don’t dog me out for my many typos & grammatical errors! I love you & happy that things panned out for us, cause you know how much I love that tit! In sickness & in health, to death do us get up out this bitch!
Jovan / February 22, 2008
I guess February really is the month for love.
All of these Black love posts have my cynical ass feeling good about the present and future. The Black Family will prevail!
Kudos to you for making the medical industrial complex give your lady the same care they would have given the”others” Nice to see a brother take some proactive steps to make sure we are treated equally.
By the way, that dessert looks good as hell man. What is it ?
Cluizel / February 22, 2008
Awwww…I am glad everything is ok! Negro Fix’ins for everyone! 🙂
But really, its a good thing you have connections because that month would have been so stressful. To have that always on the back of your mind? Ugh…yeah for connections!
Ummm…that dessert looks yummy…but it would be even better with chocolate drizzled all over it. lol. I need help..
Erica C. / February 22, 2008
Glad pulling some strings helped!
I’m glad that Suite Suzy came out ok, and am really happy that you are there to support her.
Peace & Blessings to both you and Suite Suzy!
Carla / February 22, 2008
VERY glad SS is ok. And really quite proud of you, BB, for being a wonderfully support, “I got yo back” kind of man! It is refreshing to read about.
Much respect!
ayankha / February 22, 2008
WOW. That’s what I call love. I must admit, when I first saw the org. appointment, I cursed out loud. You are a really good man and it feels so good to see you taking care of your family…by any means necessary.
Tamra / February 22, 2008
Glad everything came out ok! Whew… And Wow.
I know this sounds a little *ugly* in light of all the rest of that, but with regards to something ever happening to either you or Suzy, make sure your paperwork is in order–all of it! That’s one thing that a lot of people–specially lots of usses–just don’t do…
And don’t even get me started on navigating the mess that is healthcare for black women–even with *good* insurance. Grumble, grumble…
Oh and I have a baseline mammo coming up next month–thanks for the preview w/r/t what to expect sore and smashed ;-( ).
Blah Blah Blah / February 22, 2008
I was thinking WTFUck…a month away…
Glad everything worked out alright…
I know about the sore titties…that machine smashes the hell outta ’em…well, if you are endowed…heeheehee
jose / February 22, 2008
I’m happy for you and yours that your girl didn’t get a positive test result. Unfortunately, when that kind of news hits you, it’s easy to feel helpless. Glad you got on your grind to make that happen. It’s hard to do that for so many of our people.
Christopher Chambers / February 22, 2008
Navigating the intricacies is what it’s all about. Nuff said, and you said it well…
Lola Gets / February 22, 2008
Im with Chambers here. Its all about working the system to get what you need from it. Im not even going to get into the crap Ive had to go through as a disabled person, but its enough to drive one crazy!
Im glad things turned out ok for all.
L
Shai / February 22, 2008
Wow! That is great. I hate that you have to pull strings or clown to get the right help. Help that you pay money for like everyone else. SMH.
Bygbaby / February 22, 2008
Jovan – “All of these Black love posts have my cynical ass feeling good about the present and future. The Black Family will prevail!” it is all about the positive fate of the Black man, woman & child maybe (Common – Black Maybe)!
The dessert is a custard fruit tart.
Cluizel – You you gotta go all Negro fixin’s on the dessert & add chocolate??? LOL
Erica C – Thx boo!!! We have to have each others back, that is what love is all about. I think we need to wake up & realize that so that we can advance together instead of acting like crabs in a barrel most of the time.
Ayankha – Oh if you thought you was cussing, you should have heard me! I was about to go up in that bitch!!! LOL Without my family, I am nothing. Well maybe I would be a sexy single nigga with bad credit looking for a boo but that is not the case & not desired.
Tamra – yes, getting papers together is a scary but necessary thought. I will admit that as a couple we do not have any papers ready probably like most, I think planning for the worst ahead of the game is a curse or kiss of death. We do need to sit down to have that difficult conversation point blank.
“…I have a baseline mammo coming up next month…” I will tell you that I am happy that I do not have to deal with people running up all in my with tools to & flattening my chest. I guess this is one of the benefits of being a man. well I guess in about 7 years, i have to deal with someone running up all in my ass to do a prostate check. I so hate rectal exams!!!
Blah Blah Blah – (a) Love the name, (b) Suite Suzy is packing & she showed me what they did, all I could say was OUCH!!!
Jose – “Unfortunately, when that kind of news hits you, it’s easy to feel helpless.” big time, especially if you have no resources & someone that is generally living in marginalized condition. Looking forward to seeing what the next president will do about health care.
Chris C – Thx & the intricacies are a bitch sometimes but we must prevail.
Lola – Thx so much! I can imagine. my brother has some issues & when my mom tells me of the drama, it frustrates me to no end!
Shai – “I hate that you have to pull strings or clown to get the right help.” yes it is FUCKED UP point blank. the next Negro might no t be able to do that, which is so sad!
I appreciate all of the love you guys are giving us! I love my virtual peeps, well until you piss me off Tavis Smiley style!
Bygbaby
Los Angelista / February 23, 2008
My sister went through this as well and they gave her an appt. 6 weeks out. I flipped out as well and she was a wreck. But, like you said, no strings she could pull. They finally let her come earlier when her breast started swelling unnaturally. Thankfully she’s okay now, but it was ridiculous.
So glad your wife is alright. Thank God.
AnnaC / February 23, 2008
So glad to hear Suite Suzy is ok.
The tears were welled up just reading the anxiety and stress you two were going through… if it were cancer besides having time to grow, all that stress would have fueled it along.
It is so important for all of us to be advocates for ourselves and our loved ones when it comes to health care even though we do PAY for it.
Breathing deeply now and being grateful for both of your strength!
Meikmeika / February 23, 2008
I’m happy to hear Suite Suzy is ok.. I too went through a similar experience, only I found the lump in my breast. It first took my OBGYN two cancellations of appts to finally get me in and when I went for the Mammo it was a nightmare.
Just good to know she’s ok and you stood by her.
Bygbaby / February 24, 2008
Liz – 6 weeks is way to long to be stressed out on a whit if…. Thx for your well wishes!
AnnaC – Thx so much & sorry for the roller coaster ride I sent you on & thx for the love!
MeikMeika – I am hearing to many stories of bad experiences hear & in my “real life” & all from Negro women. I think this is saying something. Thx to you for the love also!!!
Bygbaby
brunsli / February 24, 2008
I’m glad everything is okay!
We had a very similar experience when I had my first mammogram. While waiting the weeks until I could get a second test, I was planning a party to say bon voyage to my cleavage.
There are a lot of false positives when younger women have testing. Still, I’d rather go through the angst of having a false positive than through the trauma of catching it too late.
muslimahlocs / February 24, 2008
i am relieved to know that our wife is well and everything worked out for you and your family.
Invisible Woman / February 24, 2008
I am so very glad it worked out…the vast, vast majority turn out to be negative (have a mom that had it tho).
This is totally and completely off topic, but you should really, really be a food stylist. Look into it.
Bygbaby / February 25, 2008
Brunsli – It is sounding like there needs to something done to decrease the weeks of wait time to be retested! For the few days of our drama, I held her booby & talked to it in case we had to part.
Muslimahloacs – Thx so much for the love!
Invisible Woman – Thx & how is mom doing now?
I would love to be a food or product photographer. I like working better with things than people. With objects, you have nothing but time & no attitude.
I would give my left nut to work for Wholefoods or Williams Sonoma as a product photographer. I appreciate your encouragement!
Bygbaby
Invisible Woman / February 25, 2008
My mom is fine–healthy as a horse (as they say) since it happened 8 years ago. Thanks for asking.
As for the food styling, claim it! I showed your pictures to a couple of my girlfriends, and they think you have talent too…and they are jaded to the max! haha
I’ve heard it’s hard to find good food stylists…you have a good look and with your portfolio, I definitely think you can do it. Just remember to take almost anything at first (take it from a former video stylist).
Bygbaby / February 26, 2008
Happy to hear that moms is well!
So I did some wed surfing & found lots of info out there on food & table designing. Too bad I am not on the east coast where I found colleges that had certificate programs.
I did find a woman in MI not to far from me that has done work for the Food Network, NBC & many others. I called her to see if she offers instructions. Hopefully she will call me back because her work was awesome & she has been in the business for 27 years. this is work that I would welcome.
Since you put this out there, I got a call from a woman who is starting a greeting card company & she saw some of my images & wants to purchase. We will see if it pans out but the thought of it was exciting. It will be very exciting wen I see cash!!!
Bygbaby