The post title is inspired by Nina Simone’s rendition of Duke Ellington’s jazz standard “Mood Indigo” from her “Little Girl Blue” album (1958).

“You ain’t been blue; no, no, no.
You ain’t been blue,
Till you’ve had that mood indigo.
That feelin’ goes stealin’ down to my shoes
While I sit and sigh, “Go ‘long blues”.

Always get that mood indigo,
Since my baby said goodbye.
In the evenin’ when lights are low,
I’m so lonesome I could cry.

‘Cause there’s nobody who cares about me,
I’m just a soul who’s bluer than blue can be.
When I get that mood indigo,
I could lay me down and die.”

Today is my father’s birthday & we will celebrate tonight even in his death with cake, ice cream & a balloon release.

As the years go by, this date is easier for me to deal with, so I guess time has made me stronger. Last night Sade reminded me that today was dads birthday like 4 times & then again before she went upstairs to go to bed. I told Suite Suzy about Sade’s reminders & she got several of them herself; we both laughed.

My father meant everything to me & still does as I reflect back on times we shared, conversations we had etc. I think one of my most memorable conversations with him was when I was about 19 when I called him all freaked out because this girl I was dating peed on me while we were fucking.

All he could do was laugh & say “you must have really whooped that thang”; me on the other end was like how can you laugh, I got peed on!!!

Anyway, my dad died suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 51, which was caused by severe coronary artery disease. My man tits & my father’s death are a few reasons why I am taking my exercise regimen & diet more serious because if I can help it, I would like to be around to see my family develop. I want to continue to be a rock for my daughters when they all grown like my father was a rock for me as I stumbled into adulthood, fatherhood & marriage.

Although my father lived hundreds of miles away & now an eternity away, he resides in my heart, his blood flows through my veins & his memory encourages me to be a best man I can be as he helped lay a foundation that cannot be destroyed. Mindspill

Dad, If you are reading I am only considering bitch slapping you when we meet at the cross roads (you know why).