Mindspill Over the last few weeks I have been engaging in conversations with some sisters out & about in Detroit about the dating scene & pool of potential boos. What I have been hearing is really fucked up & not really anything new if you read relationship blogs like Sugar n Spice, then you know what I am talking about.

Before women used to complain that all of the brothers were either in jail, on drugs, into white woman or gay or all of the above. Today what I am hearing is I cannot find anyone in my socioeconomic status, I cannot find a man with a degree and a job & most fucked up, I cannot find a man who does not live with his boys, cousin or momma.

When I hear the stories of looking for love, all I can do is shake me head and think about root cause of why these young (25-40) educated & seemingly successful women cannot find a man to meet on their level. To figure out where I am coming from read this or this story.

As an outsider looking in I feel bad for these women who want a Black man to spend their life & time with but are frustrated searching & coming up with little or nothing. BROTHERS, WHERE ARE YOU???

One of my recent conversations occurred at an AA Human Resources Professional conference with a woman from my area. This woman is in her early 30’s with a MBA & has been single for 3 years has had a hand full of dated in the meantime. She says she meets men but they have not been to college or barley attended & have jobs not careers.

She went on to say that she was set on a Black man & would hold out hope for as long as possible. I then mentioned the census findings on interracial marriage & how Black woman have been hooking up with white men as an alternative then asked her how she felt about it.

She was neutral about it & said that sisters need to get in where they fit in but it would be a last resort for her.

So I had the almost the same conversation with this weekend with another sister who was down because her dating pool was limited at best but she was willing to jump into the interracial dating scene to find an “equal or better”. I begged her to hold out for a brother (there has to be someone out there)!

I know there are brothers out there somewhere with the right set of demographics but I also know there are not enough to meet the needs of the YBP (young black professional) woman.

Wait let me take a second to wonder if sister’s expectations are a little too high. Are there skewed views on what success is???


I wonder what this lack of “qualified men” is going to mean for the future of Black families. Actually, I don’t even want to think about it.

Totally avoiding the interracial drama because I have strong opinions but I respect an individual’s choice(s), ladies what do you think is going on with the lack of available YBP men. YBP men, what are your thoughts & is it hard out there on you???