Over the last few of weeks my one bad ankle started acting up & last week it got to the point that I could not take it anymore. I have been doing icy/hot, ice packs, elevation, witch hazel & anything else to stop swelling and pain.
So the day before my NYC trip I went to see my orthopedic Dr. to find out what was going on. To cut to the chase, the appointment was fucked up & I was up in there for almost 2 hours, got an xray & was told to take at Advil 3 times a day for 2 weeks (I hate pills). Before the appointment end I asked if my handicapped parking permit could be extended & the dr. hooked me up with a 4 month extension. 15 dollars later (co-pay) I was on my way to work.
All the way to work, I was like damn, now I have to go to the Secretary of State (DMV in some states). I hate going to the Sec’ o State because they are slow as hell & do not give a fuck about making people wait in their Purgatory.
Fast-forward 1 week later to today, I finally muster up the nerve to get this damn permit after work. Wait, before I move on, don’t trip on me because I have a handicapped parking permit cus, I really needed it. Walking is a problem most days for me because of the swelling & standing can be a real bitch more often than not.
OK, its Wednesday 528pm & I’m waling up to the Sec’ o State & I look up to see people standing all over the place & it was packed. Once up to the building & soon as I opened the door, I was hit smack in the face with once of the funkiest smells I have sniffed. Later I figured that the smell was of 2 week old crack head badussy (booty, dick & pussy) & it was to the point that I could almost taste it!
So I get my number from the number machine while trying not to throw up in my mouth & looked at it to see that I was number 80 fuckin’ 8. Then I looked up to see that they were only on number 20. 60 goddam 8 people were in front of my ass & the line was moving slower than one footed run-away slave following the north star. Luckily I was able to cop a seat because someone said fuck it and left but minutes later I did the same & decided to head down to the Korean (people in the know, don’t judge me) to get a guard for my shaving clippers. After my quick purchase, made a few phone calls & decided to head back into the funk box & luckily again, I was able to get a seat.
While sitting in disgust, I took a look around & I saw the most pathetic looking people ever (not all but many). There was some chick there in a club dress & hooker pumps, 2 people that looked very homeless & probably were the source of the funk, ubiquitous muffin tops (some muffins in the front, some in the back & some all the way round; it was nasty), an alleged local pimp (pulpit pimp to be honest) & some loud as hell talking ghetto couple (I’m not sure if they knew they were in public). So after taking all of this in, I was like, I gotta get the hell out of here before I burst into flames if I did not die from badussy asphyxiation 1st. Seconds after my thought, the line started to move rapidly all of the sudden. So I said fuck it & decided to stay.
After all was said & done, it took less that 2 hours for me to get taken care of & I had a baby migraine headache. Once I got in my car, I was shit, I felt like I needed a Stanback & Coke (if you are old school and from the south, I know you know what a Stanback is).
Since Stanbacks are hard to come by in these parts I decided to head to a local ice cream shop instead to decompress my self over a pineapple & cherry milk shake with whipped cream. As soon as I took my 1st sip, all was good.
Talk about a dramatic start to a nice summer evening.