Before you read any further, please know that the title of this post has nothing to with the new sex toy I purchased while in NYC. It is inspired by the EMPD (one of my favborite hip-hop artists) song “Jane”. I am relating the verse “Bigger, stronger and much faster” to my beautiful new Nikon D40 (are you tired f me taking about it yet?)

Looked up and down and said “Hmm, I’ll take her”
She came in, I said “Hi my name is P”
She said “Hello my name is J-A-N-E”
I said “Jane, oh, what a nice name”
It reminds me of a high school flame

She came behind me and then she rubbed my back
She started moaning and said “Yo, let’s hit the sack”
Went to my room because she was kinda bossy
Girl broke buckwild

And started playing horsey

She showed pain but inside she felt joy

Ayo she broke wild and said “Ride em cowboy!”

Three o’clock on the dot

Tired of busting her

Woke up in the morning to my record “You’re a Customer”
She left me a note, she called me the medicine
Said next time you have to be better

Bigger, stronger and much faster!

After work yesterday, Cousin Dee & I had planned on meeting at the Centaur Bar for cocktails & shit talking with friends as one of our regular rituals. To my surprise none of the regulars showed up but one of our new friends Jason did make it.

On the side Cousin Dee does photography & so does Jason but he is on another level as one of Detroit’s up & coming photographers. I met Jason last year at a party & we have been cool since. If you have been to the Quench Essentials webstore then you have seen some of his work because he did my product shots. Anyway, Jason showing up was awesome because we talked photography in addition to the struggles of being a young Negro professional in Detroit etc.

So after several Strawberry Martinis ((recommended by Julia, one of our favorite bartender)(lemonade, muddled strawberries & vodka)) & snacks, Cousin Dee & I parted ways with Jason as we set off to venture further downtown Detroit to get some snapshots. Cousin Dee helped me out with figuring out the features on my new Nikon D40 & explained to be some photography basics so that I could get better shots. Luckily she’s patient cuz I was not getting all the talk about shutter speed, aperture etc (I ‘m a work in progress).

Nevertheless we had a great time walking around & even ran into a photography group who were downtown doing the same thing we were so we stopped & talked shop & I got a lead for a photography class for dummies like me.

Now it’s 5 hours later since we left the Centaur & we are headed back walking down Woodward Ave with some tired ass feet. While walking we noticed the increased number of crackheads on the streets so you know it was not long before we got approached by one. Abruptly, I hear a man’s, (lets call him Lenny) voice yell out to me, “hey homeboy, can you help me out with some bus fare, all I have is ¢17”. So I told him that I did not have any money & he yells back, “what about her” & we keep stepping. Moments later he says “fuck you” to me & then starts to claim that he “could eat her pussy better than I could” then I yelled back, that it would be impossible because she has a dick” he then says, “I can handle that too”. At this point we were too through & got the hell away from his ass in a quick-fast-hurry.

Now we are 2 blocks away from Lenny’s pussy eating ass when a new mutha fucka approaches us. Homeboy introduces himself as “Peanut” & starts to tell us that he only had ¢27 & need some change to make bus fare. We both said we had nothing and he thanked us but kept walking along side of us.

While he walked with us, he poured out too many details of his life like the fact that he likes to smoke crack but disappointed because crack is not as good as it was 10 years ago. He also shared that he did 10 years in prison for armed robbery and assault. When we heard that last peace, we switched to defense & beat a Nigga down mode, because between the 2 of us, we had like 3k in camera equipment (mostly Cousin Dee).

So now we are about 1 block away from our cars when Peanut tells us that he wants to find a woman & asked Cousin Dee if she would be his. His whole game was built on the fact that he gets a $500 social security check & he was serious as hell. Then he goes off & says that he is tired of crackhead pussy & needed some real stuff. Just before we parted ways, he gave us his phone number & told us to call him next time we came down town.

Before Cousin Dee & I part ways for the evening we decided to stop back @ the Centaur to take bartender Nick up on his offer for drinks. Once perched at the bar, Nick broke us off with a few drinks & because it was slow he had the chance to sit with us a bit to kick it. Next thing I knew, we were doing shots. At this point I realize that it’s like 115am & need to get my ass home & not catch a DUI case.

Man it was a great night!

Here are some of my shots, hope you enjoy them.

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