Before you read any further, please know that the title of this post has nothing to with the new sex toy I purchased while in NYC. It is inspired by the EMPD (one of my favborite hip-hop artists) song “Jane”. I am relating the verse “Bigger, stronger and much faster” to my beautiful new Nikon D40 (are you tired f me taking about it yet?)
Looked up and down and said “Hmm, I’ll take her”
She came in, I said “Hi my name is P”
She said “Hello my name is J-A-N-E”
I said “Jane, oh, what a nice name”
It reminds me of a high school flameShe came behind me and then she rubbed my back
She started moaning and said “Yo, let’s hit the sack”
Went to my room because she was kinda bossy
Girl broke buckwildAnd started playing horsey
She showed pain but inside she felt joy
Ayo she broke wild and said “Ride em cowboy!”
Three o’clock on the dot
Tired of busting her
Woke up in the morning to my record “You’re a Customer”
She left me a note, she called me the medicine
Said next time you have to be betterBigger, stronger and much faster!
After work yesterday, Cousin Dee & I had planned on meeting at the Centaur Bar for cocktails & shit talking with friends as one of our regular rituals. To my surprise none of the regulars showed up but one of our new friends Jason did make it.
On the side Cousin Dee does photography & so does Jason but he is on another level as one of Detroit’s up & coming photographers. I met Jason last year at a party & we have been cool since. If you have been to the Quench Essentials webstore then you have seen some of his work because he did my product shots. Anyway, Jason showing up was awesome because we talked photography in addition to the struggles of being a young Negro professional in Detroit etc.
So after several Strawberry Martinis ((recommended by Julia, one of our favorite bartender)(lemonade, muddled strawberries & vodka)) & snacks, Cousin Dee & I parted ways with Jason as we set off to venture further downtown Detroit to get some snapshots. Cousin Dee helped me out with figuring out the features on my new Nikon D40 & explained to be some photography basics so that I could get better shots. Luckily she’s patient cuz I was not getting all the talk about shutter speed, aperture etc (I ‘m a work in progress).
Nevertheless we had a great time walking around & even ran into a photography group who were downtown doing the same thing we were so we stopped & talked shop & I got a lead for a photography class for dummies like me.
Now it’s 5 hours later since we left the Centaur & we are headed back walking down Woodward Ave with some tired ass feet. While walking we noticed the increased number of crackheads on the streets so you know it was not long before we got approached by one. Abruptly, I hear a man’s, (lets call him Lenny) voice yell out to me, “hey homeboy, can you help me out with some bus fare, all I have is ¢17”. So I told him that I did not have any money & he yells back, “what about her” & we keep stepping. Moments later he says “fuck you” to me & then starts to claim that he “could eat her pussy better than I could” then I yelled back, that it would be impossible because she has a dick” he then says, “I can handle that too”. At this point we were too through & got the hell away from his ass in a quick-fast-hurry.
Now we are 2 blocks away from Lenny’s pussy eating ass when a new mutha fucka approaches us. Homeboy introduces himself as “Peanut” & starts to tell us that he only had ¢27 & need some change to make bus fare. We both said we had nothing and he thanked us but kept walking along side of us.
While he walked with us, he poured out too many details of his life like the fact that he likes to smoke crack but disappointed because crack is not as good as it was 10 years ago. He also shared that he did 10 years in prison for armed robbery and assault. When we heard that last peace, we switched to defense & beat a Nigga down mode, because between the 2 of us, we had like 3k in camera equipment (mostly Cousin Dee).
So now we are about 1 block away from our cars when Peanut tells us that he wants to find a woman & asked Cousin Dee if she would be his. His whole game was built on the fact that he gets a $500 social security check & he was serious as hell. Then he goes off & says that he is tired of crackhead pussy & needed some real stuff. Just before we parted ways, he gave us his phone number & told us to call him next time we came down town.
Before Cousin Dee & I part ways for the evening we decided to stop back @ the Centaur to take bartender Nick up on his offer for drinks. Once perched at the bar, Nick broke us off with a few drinks & because it was slow he had the chance to sit with us a bit to kick it. Next thing I knew, we were doing shots. At this point I realize that it’s like 115am & need to get my ass home & not catch a DUI case.
Man it was a great night!
Here are some of my shots, hope you enjoy them.
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Anne / June 24, 2007
Just dropped by to say hi. Your MJ comment at Francis’ blog made me laugh.
Nice blog, good story.
Peace.
Lola Gets / June 24, 2007
Fuck the camera, I want to hear about the sex toy!
😛
L
Bygbaby / June 24, 2007
Anne – The was a hot mess & I had to say something LOL.
Lola – You have me cracking up! I cannot talk more about the sex toy because I promised Suite Suzy to not out that business out there. When we got that Jack Rabbit, she happy that I put that out there.
Good Bait though huh!?!?!
Lester Spence / June 24, 2007
the centaur must be a relatively new joint. where is it exactly?
good shots. oslo is dope.
Bygbaby / June 24, 2007
Lester – The Centaur opened a few months before the Detroit Superbowl. Unlike other spots that popped up to take advantage of the financial influx they are one f few that remain open.
It is right behind the Fox theater & 2nd City.
Next time you are in the city, we should hook up for a few. Maybe we can get Keith to come out.
Correction Oslo was dope. It closed just before Thanksgiving last year. The whole house music & Sushi crowd was devastated! I have dreams that it will one day reopen. It closed because the owner is heavily into drugs & did not pay taxes & other debtors. Such a shame & such a waste.
Bygbaby
Chi-chi / June 25, 2007
Cool shots! I like to contrast between the cement and the turquoise shoe. You seemed to keep cool around those crackheads. I was laughing while safe and sound at home but I wouldn’t think it was so funny if I were walking with you at the time.
Chi):
Bygbaby / June 25, 2007
Chi-Chi – That shoe shot was a total fluke. While Cousin Dee & I were walking it just got stuck so we both started taking shots at it. It was pretty funny.
In certain parts of Detroit, the crackheads are rampant so you gotta be on guard. One thing that makes me feel somewhat safe is the fact that I know that they cannot be carrying a weapon because if they had one, they would have sold it to get their last fix + how hard could it be to fuck up a crackhead and a moments notice.?.
Bygbaby
Michelle W. / June 25, 2007
I suppose you know this already but your hair looks awesome. I am loving the curly you. And those are some nice shots of Downtown Detroit. I have only been there one time but I was driving so fast I couldn’t really get a good look at much. Those crackheads are bold as hell. They just come up to your ride and don’t give a hell about you saying no. They will bug you until the light turns. Needless to say I didn’t get out of the car and I didn’t roll down the windows. My mama didn’t raise no fool.
Peace
IAMNOTANIGGA
Stephen Bess / June 25, 2007
Nice camera! Man…I want me a new camera. 🙂 Nice shots too.
Darius T. Williams / June 25, 2007
Those shots are pretty hot. Do you do photography collages and perhaps sell them?
Bygbaby / June 26, 2007
Michelle W – Thx! Believe it pr not but Downtown Detroit is safe once you factor out the crackheads
Stephen – Thx & man just do it. I am trying to figure out how I can pay for a new lens to have more fun with my new toy. Why can’t I find a hobby that is low cost???
Darius – Where you been brother? I never though about selling anything but maye I need to step up my game & try t make some cash? If you want any particular shot, I am willing to charge you the cost of printing & shipping + my gas, that shit ain’t free LOL.
Talk to me,
Bygbaby
Valentius / June 26, 2007
What’s up, Bygbaby. Now I have to change my name, too.
Thx,
Lenny
RedDredPrincess / June 27, 2007
Nice… I love the fountain shots!