My post title “New York Shit” is inspired by one of my favorite Busta Rhymes jams from his “Big Bang” Album.

“Yeah! I’m on my New York shit
Got the world followin the New York script
Hustle with Tims and hoodies on my New York flip
Rubberband stack money with my New York click
Yeah! I’m on my New York shit
I rep the Giants, the Jets, New York Knicks
Taylor made clothin with my New York stitch

My chick bangin don’t you see my New York bitch
Yeah! I’m on my New York shit
You niggaz know we deserve the props we get
Ridin up in the range I’m in my New York whip
International chicks on my New York dick
Yeah! I’m on my New York shit
See how I kill it with my New York spit
Thanks to the boroughs now I’m New York rich
The way I flood ‘rm thoro with my New York hits…”

If you have been following my personal drama over the last few days then you know I decided to go to NYC with my family & I am happy that I did! So here’s a trip somewhat turbulent trip synopsis.

545am Sunday: The trip started of a little rocky because a) we woke up late & had a 7am flight, b) I left my cell phone/life line at home & did not realize it until we were 5 minutes from the house & it was too late to turn back. My main concern was for my damn phone, shit how was I gonna survive being without it for 3 days.

900am Sunday: We are in NYC, the flight was smooth & Olivia is super excited because this was her first plane ride. For this trip we each took a duffel bag so we could avoid checking luggage (this also means that we could not buy much to bring home). So once we are our of the terminal I get a cab & we proceed to put our shit in the truck & move inside when the cab driver who we will call “Esmeralda Maria Espinoza Mendez Jones” looks at me and says, “hey you, get in the front” then she looks at Suite Suzy & “says she’s too, get in the front” then Suite Suzy & I looked at each other & were like damn.

Since I knew Suite Suzy heard this tacky comment, I did not say anything because she holds her own. Once we got to the hotel, I asked her why she did not jump off & she told me that she did not hear her. Now she is hell bent on reporting Esmeralda Maria Espinoza Mendez Jones when we get home, which may also follow a bet down when we are back in NYC in 3 weeks.

12pm Sunday: Hungry and sleepy as hell we sit patiently waiting in the lobby of the Le Parker Meridien waiting for a table at Norma’s to celebrate Fathers Day. If you are a breakfast person & love contemporary delights then Norma’s is the place for you. Their breakfast quesadilla is so good it will make you bitch slap yo momma.

It seems like everybody in NYC knew that Norma’s is the bomb because we had to wait a little over an hour to be seated. Once we were seated, the service sucked like ass (very unusual). I mean it was so bad I had to complain to the manager, which led to me getting my meal & smoothie free ($26 savings).

3pm Sunday: With that “extra” $26 we took a ride on the Circle Line tour so that the kids could see the Statue of Liberty. First of all, I think Black people & boats are not a good combination but this was pretty fun & the kids were in 7th heaven. The breeze was just right & the sun was making me feel so damn good!

530pm Sunday: We are making a mad fucking dash from Battery Park back to the hotel so that we could bath & get dressed for the 730 “Color Purple” show. We finally get to the room & realize that there is only one wash towel in the bathroom & washing 4 asses with one towels just is not kosher. So Suite Suzy calls the desk & requests more towels & soap. Minutes later I find out that the iron in the room was fucked up, so we had to call to get another one. At this point we only have like 50 minutes to be out of the door & we made it by the skin of our teeth.

Did you know: New York City has more than 1,700 parks, playgrounds and recreation facilities across the five boroughs.

715pm Sunday: We make it to the theater & the line was way long. To me, the line going into the “Color Purple” is one of the best parts of the experience because the people, “my people” all looked “open casket sharp”!

I have to admit that I was not all that thrilled about seeing the TCP again since Fantasia joined the cast but the way that woman set off the role of Celie, I felt like a fool. Fantasia did an excellent job & she “almost” made me shed a tear or 2.

I have liked Fantasia since I saw her sing “Summertime” on American Idol but I could not get into her music since she won but that may be because I am not a baby’s momma. When I heard she joined the cast of TCP, I was like WTF & boy did my judgment prove to be way wrong. Fantasia’s life story is so inspiring especially with this new accomplishment that I am vowing not to hate on her for the next 2 years, unless she comes out with a song that is so ghetto that it makes me stop breathing.

Olivia & Sade both enjoyed the experience but I think they were most excited about the new skirt that they wore to the performance (what little fashionistas).

1045pm Sunday: After walking through Times Square, we stop at Chevy’s aKa Rio Bravo for some fresh Mex then one thing led to another & we were back at the room & I am not sure how we got there because I had a few too many Margaritas. Monday am, Suite Suzy told me we caught a cab back.

It’s now Monday late morning & we stop at the Food Emporium, which is the really neat grocery store right under the Queensboro bridge for breakfast. The Food Emporium is very high end & kinda reminds me of Wholefoods. Getting food from the Food Emporium was the cheapest mean we had during the entire trip. Once we paid for our food, we found this little shaded park to eat in & chilled there for a while watching people watch us. I had a nice piece or poached salmon (one of my favorites) topped with thinly sliced cucumbers, a big buttery croissant & fruit cup.

After our little chill mealtime was over, the shopping/window shopping began with a long stop at Bloomies (no trip to NYC is complete without us stopping here). After Bloomies we got on the subway to head to B&H Photography so that scope out that Nikon D40 that has been on my wish list a bit now.

To make a long story short: I got the Nikon D40 with the kit (18-55mm lens) & a 55-200mm lens, which means that I am 720 poorer & solidifies that fact that I will not be getting a iPhone. The purchase of my camera was a great deal because I got it factory used & means that I saved about $215.

After I made my little purchase we headed for the subway station to catch the E train to visit the WTC. As we were going down one set of stairs to the train, I had one of many Beyonce moments. A Beyonce moment is when a sudden rush of wind comes and tosses your hair about (I should put this in the Urban Dictionary). I had like 6 of the moments & during one I screamed out more wind bitches, more wind & that made the kids laugh.

Suite Suzy loved the WTC & used to go to the towers often. This of course is when it was popular & a dream to blow up like the world trade. She enjoyed telling the kids about what used to be & she really broke it down on how “911” changed our lives as Americans. It seems like no matter what time you go to the WTC site, it is crawling with people & now that the constructions is going on, it adds a bit of excitement to the visit.

Enough of the sentimental crap now! We are now headed to Brooklyn for dinner @ Junior’s & some world class ghetto shopping at the Fulton Street Mall. Going to Brooklyn is must do for Suite Suzy when we go to NYC & no matter what I do or say to try to avoid it, I lose. I’m hoping that in a few weeks we can skip Brooklyn & spend some time in Harlem & hang out a bit in Soho.

Anyway dinner & desert was good & Junior’s but it is time to get the hell out of Brooklyn & head back to the room because I was starting to have a real serious #2 problem brewing that I had been dealing with since we left B&H (so you know it’s been a while). So we are headed to the subway to hop on the N train & 10 minutes later, we are off the train & I am speed walking back to the hotel.

Just before we get to the hotel, we noticed that the movie theater nearby had a showing of Shrek 3 playing & we had 30 minutes until show time. At this point I break off to get to the room, while Suite Suzy & the kids got tickets. 20 minutes later, I am feeling 5 pounds lighter & was ready to be bored to death for the next 1½ hours. My kids loved Shrek & laughed all the way through it, which kept waking me up (I think they should have stopped at the first Shrek). After the movie was over, I checked my watch & realized that we had been out & about for over 12 hours. We were all beat the hell down & in desperate need of showers but it was a great day!

Ahh shit its Tuesday already & the trip was over pretty quick & I am pretty much exhausted. I look over at the clock radio with one eye open & see that it just past nine, then I hear Suite Suzy say that “we are out (her & the kids) the door on our way to China Town” so I roll over & catch a few more Z’s because I am so over China Town like 3 years ago. I just do not get the fascination that women have with this place. I mean, how exciting is it really to buy a fake as purse, with sunglasses & scarf to match.?.

After a few extra Z’s I look at the clock radio & noticed that it was 1145, which meant I had to haul ass to get ready to go because checkout was at 1230. Twenty minutes later, I get a call on the room phone & I knew it was the front desk threatening to kick my ass out but it turned out to be Suite Suzy letting me know her & the kids were moments away.

It’s now 1235pm we are in the lobby checking out & arranging for a 2pm pick-up at the hotel to get to the airport. After we were all set, we headed for the Food Emporium for lunch; after a nice lunch we headed back to the hotel for our ride to the airport. So we get in the car, have a quite peaceful ride to La Guardia & arrive about 1½ hrs before the flight (a 1st for Suite Suzy & I). It turns out that the quiet we had in the car was the quiet before storm.

So we check in, barely get through security because Suite Suzy was “randomly chosen” to be searched & eventually arrive at the gate to see that our flight was delayed by 1 hour, which allowed me time to start this post.

Now it’s 510 we are all on the plane & the pilot makes an announcement that there are some departure delays and he was not totally sure on when we could take off. To make this long story short 5 hours later the plane returns back to the gate after sitting on the tarmac all that time because the crew was about to go over the legal work hours plus the weather that was causing the departure delays was headed towards NYC.

It’s now 930 were are off the plane & Suite Suzy are calling around trying to get a room for the night & after calling 15 places we gave up. At this point we decided to call Expedia.com to see if they could locate a room & we were told that then entire city was sold out. After this devastating news, the kids started to get very vocal about their hunger so we made a move out of the terminal & went to a restaurant in Queens named the Buccaneer Diner, which was suggested by one of the TSA agents.

Jumping ahead 2½ we take a Gypsy cab back to the airport & fount that the Port Authority was supplying cots so we cop a squat get set up & have the roughest sleep over ever. They had us (all Midwest bound stranded passengers) all over the place making it look like a UN Refugee camp. I was so wired, pissed off & uncomfortable that I did not fall asleep until about 3am. It was just not a good night at all & we had to be back at the ticket counter @ 6 to get out 7am flight home.

Hours later Suite Suzy wakes us up & we get a move one to get the hell out of NYC. We arrive at the ticket counter (actually the line) & it was long as hell. It was so bad that we did not get to see an agent until 50 minutes later. After all of the line drama, we go through security & next thing you know Suite Suzy gets hauled off again for a “random search”. At this point we are in danger of missing this flight, which was already behind schedule. When the TSA agent finished fondling Suite Suzy & her bag we made a mad dash to the gate where they were doing the final boarding call (I we would have missed this flight, I think I would have attacked someone).

1 hour & 45 minutes later we were back in mutha fuckin Michigan, exhausted, in desperate need a shower & hungry as fuck!

At this very moment, it is 239pm, I fresh, finishing up this post & thinking that it would be best to break this up into 2 because it is long & boring as hell but guess what, it feels great to get this out of my mind. I feel like I can move on now.

On second thought I will make it one post because I’m about to take a nap.

Here are a few snapshots from the trip & they kinda offer a glimpse into the story.

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