One of my favorite blogs (Sugar & Spice) has done a few posts recently on dating & STD’s (I’m happy that I am married & not out there).
The posts/perspectives are great but even better is the dialogue that has followed. My repost of “Sex, Disease & Negroes” & the discussion going on @ Sugar & Spice collectively is reason enough to masturbate to keep your ass out of the free clinic & doped up on Valtrex, Penicillin, Protease Inhibitors & anything else.
If you listen to News & Notes on NPR, you no doubt have heard the great discussions over the last month dealing with sex & sexuality in the Black community. If you have not, check out this link to a few of the sex topics http://tinyurl.com/2hb2f. Suite Suzy & I have listened to a few together & they are eye opening, straight up & on point. The story I like most was on the Sex Industry & how Blacks factor (or) not in it.
Lastly, have you had an STD or have one that is a lifetime commitment? I will go will go 1st, I had Chlamydia in my late teens & got it from my girlfirend at the time. I actually had it for so long that when I fond out that I had it, the dr told me that I may never have kids.
Speaking Openly,
Bygbaby
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Sex, Disease & Negroes (originally posted 12/01/06)
There are a lot of stupid people Black people out there who are just not getting the message that safe sex is the best sex if you choose to have sex. Excluding HIV/AIDS there are some many diseases out there that are hideous that can impact your life like Herpes, HPV, and Hepatitis: I refer to these as life long friends.
Then you have your run of the mill STD such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea & Syphilis, which I consider friends for the moment but with possible life time effects.
The focus in the media is always on HIV/AIDS so you only here about high infection rates of other STD’s if the numbers are simply off the charts or if young white children/teens/adults have high numbers.
People just seem to not get it when it comes to protecting yourself from disease & equally as important, unwanted pregnancies. I wonder what it will take to make mutha fuckas realize?.?.?
For the sake of a short post, I am only focusing on the temporary friends mentioned. So here goes.
Chlamydia – 13,632 per 100,000 Black Americans ages 10-29 contracted Chlamydia during 2005. In comparison to other racial groups Blacks have the highest rate of infection (over eight times higher than that of whites), a sad fact on all counts. Infection rates bulleted are per 100,000 population (Source | CDC)
- Ages 10-14: 246.0 (What the fuck/where are the parents when that are getting busy)
- Ages 15-16: 5,502.6 (What the fuck/didn’t they see the video in sex ed)
- Ages 20-24: 5,360.0
- Ages 25-29: 2,524.0
The state of Michigan reported 38,730 cases of Chlamydia ranking in 10th place for 2005. Detroit’s Chlamydia rate is the highest among the nation’s cities, according to the latest federal data; state statistics show about 42 percent of Detroit’s 2005 cases in people 19 years old or younger.
Gonorrhea – 6120 per 100,000 Black Americans ages 10-29 contracted Gonorrhea during 2005. Gonorrhea rates dropped 17.8% from 2004 for Blacks but does this mean that we are finally starting to get the picture? Blacks again take the prize for the most number of overall infections and were 18 times higher that whites. Infection rates bulleted are per 100,000 population (Source | CDC)
- Ages 10-14: 93.5 (What the fuck/where are the parents when they are getting busy)
- Ages 15-16: 2,106.3 (What the fuck/didn’t they see the video in sex ed)
- Ages 20-24: 2,452.9
- Ages 25-29: 1,467.5
The state of Michigan reported 17,684 cases of Gonorrhea ranking in 8th place for 2005. The Detroit area contributed 10,766 of all reported cases in Michigan
Syphilis – 9.8 per 100,000 Black Americans ages 10-29 contracted Syphilis during 2005. Syphilis rates increased by 11.4% from 2004 for Blacks; just think about all of that discharge collectively (yuck). Blacks again have the most number of overall infections and were 5 times higher that whites. Infection rates bulleted are per 100,000 population (Source | CDC)
- Ages 10-14: 0.8 (Again what the fuck/where are the parents when they are getting busy)
- Ages 15-16: 9.7
- Ages 20-24: 22.0
- Ages 25-29: 23.5
The state of Michigan only reported 105 cases of Syphilis ranking in 35th place for 2005. The Detroit area contributed 77 of all reported cases in Michigan. I had to read that like 3 times to be sure I was on the right set of facts.
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Back to me:
As a parent & concerned citizen, I believe that sex/safe sex education starts at home. Of course parents cannot be with their children 100% of the time but we need to communicate the dangers of sex. I guess not really to scare them but to let them know that there is more to life & sex should be the last thing on their mind while equipping them with facts & having an open mind to answer their questions without hesitation.
I am a strong advocate of sex education at home, in school & church. I also support prevention methods such as abstinence, masturbation (at an appropriate age, which is subjective), healthy discussion, extra curricular activities and the threat of certain death to name a few.
My children are pretty young & I am dreading the day when that talk will need to be had, but I am ready for the challenge to ensure better outcomes for their health and well being.
For more information on STD’s visit:
Centers for Disease Control CDC
The American Social Health Association (ASHA)
Afraid to ask
Urology Channel
Just Say Yes
Advocates for Youth
Shawn / December 28, 2006
I thought that I was the only one that couldn’t understand what the hell was wrong with all these black people that keep having unprotected sex! I was thinking, why don’t they get it??!! I have two girlfriends who just up and had babies from guys they were not married to (but that’s another issue) and when I asked what happened, did the condom break or something; their response was “well we really didn’t use anything”. I was like WTF…I don’t get it. Do we want to die??? Do we just enjoy having genital sores, nasty discharge, and the itchies down there? Do we think that STDs are somehow just a part of life….or maybe we think Negroes are immune to sexually transmitted disease. I get disgusted everytime I meet a guy who has a kid from some chick…..they were never married they were just in a relationship (or sometimes not even a relationship) having unprotected sex and oops she got pregnant. This has got to stop. I’m single and I’m scared as hell!!! It’s hard to enjoy sex when you know that condoms don’t protect 100%. I have stopped having pre-marital sex. I agree that we need more education but that doesn’t even work sometimes…both of my younger brothers were educated on sex and STDs; they still caught Chlamydia at one point from past girlfriends. And one just had a baby back in November 2005 from a girl who already had a son from some dude…..I mean does this girl have any concern for her vaginal health? Somebody in the situation needs to stop and think! Sorry about the long post. But this was a good post. I just don’t get it. Also, plenty of black men and women just don’t seem to get the concept of monogamy….so all this jumping from one sex partner to the next doesn’t help either.
Bygbaby / December 29, 2006
Hey Shawn, I hear you & we are so on the same page. Excuse my French but I think the reason Black women are infected at such high rates is because there are only a few Brotha’s free & there are so many woman that it creates a pussy feast. Many women do not mind sharing which only makes it worse.
“I have two girlfriends who just up and had babies from guys they were not married to (but that’s another issue)” Is one of your girlfriends my sister? LOL.
Keep you stuff tight & clean & soon a clean fella will come along. I swear, I was single I would not be trying to get up into anything; it is just not worth it.
“plenty of black men and women just don’t seem to get the concept of monogamy” I want to do a post on this & compare & contrast slave breeding to the practice of multiple sex partners in the Black community but I am not totally ready to go there. Sty tuned!!!
Cluizel / December 29, 2006
This post just happened to come at the right time for me. One of my girlfriends…the only one who has a child…just told me she was pregnant again. At least this time she is in a relationship with the guy but come on now?!? Of course they weren’t using protection. A part of me wants to feel bad for her but the logical side of me is like…you weren’t protecting yourself…don’t even pretend to be surprised…what did you expect?!?
I still think this has a lot to do with self esteem…what…you aren’t worth monogamy? your body isn’t valuable to you? Sharing a man is ok? Yeah…there are some deep issues attached to this problem
But, we are too old to pretend we don’t know the consequence of our actions…and as a single woman it just makes me extra hesitant to even take it there. 1. I can’t even front I don’t get super emotional/attached afterwards and 2. Nigga? I know you…but I don’t KNOW you…you need to back up with that foolishness already!
It can suck sometimes…but abstinence is the best thing…you’re safe and it helps weed out the assholes…if they’re only around for sex they’ll disappear.
Good post!
Miz JJ / May 23, 2007
I found you via Sugar n Spice. Interesting topic. My parents are in the medical field so I always knew about sex and protection. I do not understand why people are not having protected sex. It needs to be preached more often and everywhere. I think the US needs comprehensive sex education. To inform people of the statistics. I appreciate that some religious people do not want their children to hear about condoms and dirty diseases, but their children are also going around spreaking diseases. Hormones trump common sense. Equip people with knowledge so they can make the right choices. Also, black churches should be more involved at the grass roots level. Teaching and educating people about the risks. Not just abstinence only, but actual facts and accurate information. I think people need to get scared. Also, people having children all over the place with men they do not know just make me shake my head.
Sugar / May 23, 2007
I’ve never had an STD thankfully, because I’ve been “mostly” careful. I’ve had unprotected sex with two guys…one, was only that one time and the other was a guy I was seeing….but after our breakup, I got tested….NOW? The kitchen is closed, unless you want to go ahead and become the new “official” owner (marriage). (lol)
Michelle W. / May 24, 2007
I think everyone with common sense knows to wrap it up. It just doesn’t make any sense to have unprotected sex these days.
Shawn: I am with you. I decided a long time ago no more sex before marriage. I can’t take the stress. Sex is something to be enjoyed and not something to keep you up at night worrying about the condom breaking and if the person you just slept with is clean or not. My best friend is in a relationship and they have unprotected sex. I am like what the ****. I try to tell her that it is not safe especially since the guy’s track record for manogomy is not all that pretty. But she won’t listen. I just pray to God for her and hope that one day she will wrap it up.
And thank God I have never had a STD. I have been tested many times though and each time I almost have a heart attack. I know its crutial to get tested but waiting for the results will kill you.
aulelia / May 24, 2007
Bygbaby — that phrase you said “pussy feast” is LMAO funny :).
This is a great topic to discuss. It is something that is hardly discussed in our community. Hasn’t the prevalence of HIV/AIDS shown people that they must take precautions and be careful? I do think some women are under pressure from some men to have unprotected sex.
I remember seeing this advert on TV when I was in Tanzania. It read as follows:
He told me it feels better. Skin 2 Skin he said.
He said “come on baby”
She says “Well he got his wish – it is a boy. I thought this advert was powerful because even though it does not touch on the STD aspect directly, it is referring to children but you can come up to your own conclusions that she could have caught something.
I am definitely not saying men are to blame. It takes two of course but pressure is incredible.
Cluizel / May 24, 2007
Lol…I loved this post when it first posted and I still love it.
Once you incorporate sex, that seems to be when everyone loses their damn minds…
byrdparker / June 27, 2007
It’s disastrous , and it doesn’t just effect single people , it affects all … I also do not think humans are meant to be monogamous, it’s not natural.
Remember the waterfall video by tlc , that sent a good message . Because when u have sex with someone you are basically having sex with everyone they had sex with . When u look at it like that it’s enough to make u celebate ./…