Today I was checking my email when I got a message from the S3 (Safe Sex Store) regarding their sale on sex toys. The lead in to the sale info was about May being “National Masturbation Month”. My first thought was damn, they have a month for everything & 2nd I was like why?
Side note: The only reason I get this newsletter was because I was stupid enough to sign up when I went to buy a Jack Rabbit a few months ago.
To my latter question I actually stated to com up with good reasons why this needs a month & support especially within our community. My reasons are because masturbation does cause HIV/AIDS & other STD’s to spread, no one gets pregnant in the process, you don’t have to say I love you after you are done & you don’t have to worry about anyone asking you to make a sandwich.
So anyway, before I started to do my internet research to verify the validity of the month long celebration Jocelyn Elders ran across my mind & how she was publicly crucified for being in support & advocating masturbation. WTF is was wrong with people tripping on something that could save lives when you consider what kids/adults are currently doing now; just look at the CDC statistics & unplanned/unwanted pregnancies.
“We know that more than 70 to 80% of women masturbate, and 90% of men masturbate, and the rest lie.”
Jocelyn Elders – 2006
As a Baba of 3 African Queens I would prefer that they wait until they were in a seriously committed relationship as an adult & out of my house & pocket before having sex so I will have no problem sitting down with them & Suite Suzy to discuss health alternatives cuz I want my babies safe!
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Masturbation Month History:
National Masturbation Month is not recognized by the government, or really any public institution, but in 1995, in response to the firing of Surgeon General Jocelyn Eldes for her comments on masturbation, Good Vibrations got together with like minded sex-positive sex stores, and created Masturbation Month, a month dedicated to honoring the most common and still frequently derided sexual practice on the planet.
The month usually culminates in the Masturbate-a-Thon, a fundraising event where people ask for pledges (dollar amount per minute) and on a specific day try to masturbate as long as the possibly can. Tens of thousands of dollars have been raised by participating stores (mostly Good Vibrations, , Babeland, and Come As You Are for sexual health organizations across North America. An annual online Masturbate-A-Thon has been organized by the Center for Sex and Culture for several years. While some consider Masturbation Month to be just another the result of all the commercialism is more discussion of masturbation in the mainstream media, which hopefully will add to mainstream acceptance.
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Masturbation Myths:
Bullshit: Masturbation is something you do when you’re young, but then grow out of.
Reality: Well I am not one to put all of my business out there but sometimes I need to get in tough with my self. Since I have had some live in stuff my desire for self love is not as great as it used to be when I was living single. Surveys regularly show that anywhere from 70 to 95% of adult men and women masturbate.
Bullshit: Masturbation isn’t “real sex,” it’s only for people who can’t find a partner.
Reality: When ever you bust a nut, that’s sex, point blank! From a health perspective, masturbation is as “real” a sexual behavior as intercourse, oral sex, or kissing but if you ask Bill Clinton I’m sure he will beg to differ
Bullshit: Masturbation is bad for your health.
Reality: This myth originated with an anti-masturbation tract that was written in 1712 as a way to sell a bogus “tonic” that was supposed to stop the disease of “self-pollution”. Through the years there have been many bullshit attempts to demonize masturbation like saying that it will make you go blind, cause acne, cause hair on your palms. Science & my personal experience show that all of this is bullshit. The only effect from masturbation is pleasure & maybe a quick nap it you do it right.
Bullshit: Masturbation is something men have to do, but women don’t “need” to.
Reality: While most statistics show that men do masturbate more than women, there is no evidence to suggest this is due to some biological “need” on the part of men to masturbate. Anyway I heard that after that “Sex in the City” episode aired where Charlotte got addicted to her Jack Rabbit vibrator, vibrator sales went through the roof.
Bullshit: People in relationships don’t masturbate.
Reality: This common myth often drives people in relationships to masturbate in private hiding it from their partners. Survey research shows that people of all ages masturbate when they are in relationships. Alfred Kinsey’s survey found that almost 40% of men and 30% of women in relationships masturbated. Lastly my philosophy is a couple that masturbates together stays together.
Bullshit: Too much masturbation is bad for you.
Reality: I don’t believe in getting too much of a good things as long as you are able to break off your partner when the time comes (pun not intended).
Bullshit: Only certain kinds of people masturbate.
Reality: I think not! Masturbation is good for niggas, bitches, fags, dykes, hoes, pimps & anyone in between. Shit even Muppets masturbate; you would know that if you saw Avenue Q on Broadway (like me).
Sugar / May 17, 2007
Great post! Not to put all of my business out there either, but in this celibacy stage that I’m in, I have to soothe my itch myself and I don’t have any shame in my game. (lol)
Cluizel / May 17, 2007
Lol.
I spent a good chunk of my summers hanging out in the village…there is a tattoo shop and sex shop on almost every block (probably why I have 3 tats)
So I have no comment. 🙂
Bygbaby / May 17, 2007
Sugar – She we all got needs. Stay true to you boo (ooh that rhymed LOL)
Cluziel – Suite Suzy & I hang out in Washington Square in the Village & I got 2 tatts (my favorites) @ Fineline Tattoo. They are the shit.
That marathon is a bit much. After a while seems like you would be raw. LOL
Michelle W. / May 17, 2007
Sugar- I know how you feel I have abstained from sexual intercourse since July of 2004 but I didn’t stop touching myself until 2006. So it’s not as easy as some may think. Like Tafari said Stay True and do you (pun intended).
Tafari-I’m with you. After to much masturbation it just hurts. I am no down for the marathon.
Peace
Cluizel / May 17, 2007
Are you still coming to NY?
Bygbaby / May 17, 2007
Michelle W – Dont stop get it get it. LOL
Cluziel – I will be in NY in June for 2 days for a family trip with the kids & I will be back the July 11 – 15th. We can hook up on the second trip. I want to see if I can pull together a few NY bloggers & have drinks or something in Manhattan.
Cluizel / May 17, 2007
YEAH!
I am sure there is a whole group of NY bloggers I don’t know about. lol. They’re probably all from Brooklyn (gag) 🙂
ayankha / May 17, 2007
I had never heard of this celebration…and part of my research interests is sexual health. THANKS for the info and Happy Masterbation Month to all!
The Second Sixty-Eight / May 18, 2007
Wouldn’t hairy palms actually help the masturbatory process?
“Bullshit: Too much masturbation is bad for you.
Reality: I don’t believe in getting too much of a good things as long as you are able to break off your partner when the time comes (pun not intended).”
That one is the truest things of all if you ask me!
Bygbaby / May 18, 2007
Ayankah – Yes, you post made it LOL!!! You know these months pop out of no where. I wonder what June has in store. All I know is it is Black Music Month.
The Second Sixty-Eight – “Wouldn’t hairy palms actually help the masturbatory process?” Only if it they had a Brizilian Wax LOL.
Lola Gets / May 20, 2007
“Women dont need to masturbate”, BULLSHIT! If I dont masturbate, after a while I begin having wet dreams and wake up in the middle of an orgasm! Yeah it sounds great til you realize youre alone. Id much rather do it consciously than unconsciously!
Hmmm, I might just think about joining that “marathon”…I can usually go for hour, hour and a half…Ill let you readers if I do!
lol
L
Sugar / May 21, 2007
Michelle W!? Wow! Was the decision to stop masturbating a religious one? I struggle with that because let’s be honest, in order to masturbate, you do need to have something in mind to…ahem, “ponder upon”. LOL Does that make it just as bad as actually doing the do with the real man?
Bygbaby / May 21, 2007
Lola – sounds like some intense nocturnal jump offs! Please do tell if you join the marathon & of course, I will be checking “Whatever Lola Wants” for more info LOL
Sugar – Good questions & Michelle W, inquiring minds wanna know!
Bygbaby
Michelle W. / May 21, 2007
My decision to become celibate in the beginning was strictly location location location. I moved from Michigan to Alabama in search of higher education and in doing so I left my boyfriend (provider of the sex) and the sex. After about six months in AL and after some very horrible dates and no sex I decided that it was too risky. I am definitely not the one to have sex with someone without three things…1)True emotional connection, 2)an HIV/AIDS test, 3)A CONDOM and I found that two out of the three were not commonly demanded and that’s just not safe. Later on my decision became more religious and that’s why I stopped masturbating. If it is truly something you want to do then I just want to tell you that it will change your life and the way you look at the world and yourself.
Peace
IAMNOTANIGGA
mark / May 23, 2007
Bybaby you should present this to the black church for support and sponsorship. Thank you for this honest and common sense post.
LOL
Bygbaby / May 23, 2007
Michelle W – Thanks for being so candid with your response! As I always say r at least think, one must be true to them self.
Mark – Shit, I would get burned at the stake because church folk ain’t ready for this even though I am sure that members are bout bout it when it comes to self love, getting you freak on etc.
This was broached at a previous church that I attended and all hell broke loose. I later left the church because I am not going to have some pulpit pimp tell me to stop jacking when he is rolling around in a pussy magnet Lexus.
Sad but true
Bygbaby
mark / May 23, 2007
” I am not going to have some pulpit pimp tell me to stop jacking when he is rolling around in a pussy magnet Lexus.”
mark bey: I am so mad at the black church that if thier is a catostrophic incident in my life or if things get even worse for black folks my anger could grow into hatred.
daez / May 28, 2007
Fascinating…ok, I’ll keep it real…I stopped doing it (sex and self pleasure) many YEARS ago…I feel a lot like MichelleW. Legally married (to a ho) and not living wid him, ain’t gonna sleep wid him, and also ain’t trying to sleep wid nobody else I ain’t married to…to many cooties out there!! Then masturbation makes you WANT to sex somebody…arghhh! What to do? Celibacy! Works for me…(((HUGS)))…
….just me…daez
Bygbaby / May 29, 2007
Mark – I feel you!
Daez – I admire your self control, I don’t know if I could hold out & I have in-house LOL