I am reposting this because 1) I did not get a response on it until the other day, which reminded me & inspired me to repost 2) I think this topic deserves more discussion & 3) because I can.
What are your thoughts???
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To Be Gay in Nigeria (originally posted 12/13/06)
I believe in SSM (same sex marriage) based on general principal; doesn’t everyone deserve to love who they want. My thought is, who am I/who is anyone to the happiness and love of others.
My question is, how is a man loving a man or woman loving a woman the way that I love my wife affect my relationship? My point is, why the fuck can’t people mind their own business?
I think we all need to wake as people in general (excluding race) and deal with our own business, deal with skeletons that are in our “walk in closets etc and not use our own beliefs to oppress others. (“use our own beliefs to oppress others” reminds me of slavery): wait, is suppressing the rights of gay people a form of slavery?
Based on the legislation that may pass in Nigeria, it will be illegal to even talk to your gay cousin in a café, how fucked up is that. The proposed law will push gays further into closets which may be even more dangerous when I factor in risk factors/results like AIDS. Shit watching reruns of the L-Word & Will & Grace would be illegal, how sick is that?
Gay rights across the globe have a long fucking way to go & it is such a shame that I have to make a statement like that.
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Nigeria considers same-sex marriage ban
By KATHARINE HOURELD
ASSOCIATED PRESS WRITER
LAGOS, Nigeria — Lawmakers in Nigeria are debating a bill that would ban same-sex marriage and any form of association among gays, even sharing a meal at a restaurant.
Few in Nigeria’s deeply closeted gay community have publicly opposed the legislation, which proposes penalties of up to five years in prison and is widely expected to pass.
Engaging in homosexual acts is already illegal in Nigeria, with those convicted facing jail terms in the mainly Christian south and execution in the mainly Muslim north.
“This meeting, right here, would be illegal,” said activist Bisi Alimi, stabbing the air with a French fry for emphasis as he sat at a table with three gay friends and a reporter.
Other activities prohibited under the proposed law include belonging to gay clubs or reading books, watching films or accessing Internet sites that “promote” homosexuality.
Alimi has been trying to drum up opposition to the legislation, but says Nigeria’s gay community is too far underground and the subject too taboo.
The 27-year-old activist is one of few openly gay Nigerians, having been “outed” by a university newspaper three years ago. None of his companions have told their families of their sexual orientation. They asked to be identified only by their first names, citing the risk of arrest, beatings or even death.
“A few of my best friends know, but I don’t have the courage to tell my parents,” said Ipadeola, a 23-year-old medical student.
“I don’t tell people because it is none of their business,” said Mukajuloa, a 21-year-old beautician. “Do heterosexual men go around telling the world they are attracted to women?”
Haruna Yerima, a member of Nigeria’s House of Representatives, said he supported the proposed ban. Social contact between gays should be limited, he said, because it might encourage behavior that was “against our culture … against our religion.”
Attitudes toward gays in Nigeria are typical of those across the continent. In neighboring Cameroon, Amnesty International says accusations of homosexuality and anti-gay laws have been used as a weapon against political opponents.
South Africa legalized gay marriages last month in fiercely debated legislation, making it the only country on the continent to do so. But the impetus was more a desire to stamp out all forms of discrimination in a reaction to apartheid than tolerance of gays, who are subject to prejudice and violence in South Africa.
The hostility in Nigeria means that there are very few gay or lesbian organizations. Oludare “Erelu” Odumuye – the nickname means “queen mother” in Yoruba – heads one, Alliance Rights.
“That bill would criminalize me if it was passed into law. It would criminalize my organization, it would criminalize my friends,” he said.
Thousands of people use Alliance Rights for health services, to gather information or to meet, Odumuye says. To avoid harassment, the group has no membership list and its buildings are not in town centers or identified by signs.
Visitors find them through word-of-mouth, Odumuye said. To give an idea of their size, he says the group received more than 1,500 responses to a recent health survey among gay Nigerians.
Odumuye said the bill is aimed at pleasing the ruling party’s political base – which includes powerful religious groups – ahead of April elections.
Akin Marinho, a Nigerian human rights lawyer, argued the bill’s prohibitions are illegal under Nigeria’s constitution and international treaty obligations. Not only does the legislation affect freedoms of speech and expression, but foreign companies could face lawsuits if gay or lesbian staff are unable to take up positions in Nigeria, he said.
Even some conservative religious leaders say the bill goes too far. Though Bishop Joseph Ojo, who presides over the congregation at the evangelical Calvary Kingdom Church, contends gay relationships are “foreign to Africans” and should be outlawed, he adds that gays should “have freedom of speech and expression.”
Nigerians have been publicly flogged or beaten severely in prison after being charged with homosexuality.
“There is a lot of ignorance, and that is why people are afraid,” Alimi said. “We are not willing to come out and say, “Yes, I am gay. Here I am. I am human, too.” (Source: Fox News)
Anonymous / May 6, 2007
Common I bet the person who wrote this is not Nigerian. Being Nigerian is a state of mind and it is also hard to compare Nigerians with other Africans, or even another. Not to sound bashful, but as a Nigerian living in the America, I see what the whole gay movement has done to America, and i will not like to see it done to Africans, most especially Nigerians. We are different, and the west is infringing on our way of life. what is good for Mr. A is not good for Mr. B.
“What the Nigerian homosexuals and lesbians still fail to understand is that every society grows at its own pace and in accordance with its own unique culture and values. South Africa, which has legalized homosexuality, is different from the rest of African countries. Things may be bad in Nigeria, but not to the extent that men will be given license to be doing unnatural things among themselves in the name of gay marriage. The traditional family remains the safety-nets for the upbringing of children in Africa. It also the bedrock, the hope of the African people. Destroy the traditional family in Africa, and you would have succeeded in destroying the whole of Africa. So, we should stop swallowing immoral western culture hook line and sinker. Our political system may be in a mess; politicians may be corrupt, but some of our cultural values are still intact. So, the Nigerian Association of homosexuals and Lesbians should go and sit down. Instead of campaigning for the legalization of “same-sex marriage”, they should channel their energies and resources to the development of our country. We have many problems in Nigeria; no electricity supply, no good roads, no pipe-borne water supply; no gainful employment. So, legalization of homosexuality is not our priority in Nigeria.”
I don’t expect anyone to understand.
100% African woman.
Bygbaby / May 9, 2007
Hi Anonymous – Thanks for checking me out & giving such a dynamic response.
“We are different, and the west is infringing on our way of life. what is good for Mr. A is not good for Mr. B.” This is so true & the “west” is good at destroying culture & history.
Because I am into individual rights & freedoms, I will have to respectfully disagree with your overall POV on homosexuality (maybe this is the west in me speaking).
I think it is so crazy to make legal/illegal things that are so personal.
As you point out in your summary, Nigeria hell most of Africa has so many (complex) issues, this topic hardly needs to be on the forefront when compared to HIV/AIDS, warfare, infighting, lack of goods and or services.
“I don’t expect anyone to understand.” I know you are not alone in thought, I just hope that in the future we do not have to worry about dehumanizing our Brothers & Sister (literally & figuratively) as we need to stand together & life one another out of the conditions that plague us in Africa & throughout the Disapora.
I am happy that you responded to this because I am going to repost to get more reactions (hopefully)!
Peace,
Bygbaby
aulelia / May 9, 2007
Anon 4:23pm: I am an African girl too and I would just like to say that Africans are Africans first of all. I think because Nigerians are the most visible ones in terms of celebrity it is easy to separate the country from the continent but essentially virtually all the countries on the continent except South Africa I would say have the same attitudes in regards to homosexuality.
I personally believe that African homosexuals need to have rights carved out for them. It will take a great deal of time to happen because of the traditionalism in the continent but I believe one day that it will happen because I know in East Africa, there are gay communities and Accra too, I have been told has a significant one.
What does this mean for the continent? I dont think it will have a negative social impact because they are people just like you and me and why wouldn’t they work hard for their country anyway? We all know how proud African people are of their countries. I don’t think sexual orientation determines what type of activist you are. From what I have heard, many gay activists are fighting against prejudice and there is no reason why they should not stand up for themselves in societies that in fact wants to persecute them (sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally).
I am a Roman Catholic and my denomination is of the belief that you dislike the sin not the sinner. I don’t follow this Catholic doctrine. My reasoning for this is simple. I just believe that people must follow their hearts and I know that as a heterosexual woman, I am in a much easier place than a homosexual African woman because society does not have restraints on me.
And before anyone calls me a Westernised African girl, I would just like to say that basic human rights must be expected. Remember when women still did not have the vote in the West or even in Africa? Let’s not degenerate! Let’s march forward and destroy HIV/AIDS and make the continent strong again.
Tafari (is it okay that I call you that?), I commend you for this post. It is very insightful and deeply interesting. Your blog is wiping the floor with all the other dry ones I keep seeing! Well done!
Cluizel / May 9, 2007
I think when I first saw this post I was too disgusted by what i read to respond…
What’s the point? Making it illegal will not make anyone homosexual become heterosexual. How are people supposed to focus on the bigger issues that a society has to deal with when their basic human rights are taken away? And if there are bigger issues to worry about…why on earth are people wasting time worrying about who sleeps with who?
This strange logic that gay marriage will ruin the family unit…excuse me? How does Billy & Joe being gay over there affect whether I get married or not? Or would you rather stifle their choice so they will live a lie and put other people in jeopardy to live life the way they want to behind closed doors?
Bleck…
sunsail / May 9, 2007
Cluizel, I’m with you.
But can I be a conspiracy theorist here for a minute? I honestly don’t think this anti-gay law has anything to do with being gay, quite frankly. It sounds as if it’s a law that will be used as a trumped-up excuse for legalized witch hunts for those in power who wish to prosecute opponents or dissidents.
Michelle W. / May 9, 2007
I have to say that I am torn. On one hand I believe that people should be able to do what they want with whom they want. If it makes them happy then so be it. But on the other hand my religion will not allow me to completely accept homosexuality. I try not to judge(nobody’s perfect) and I definitely do not disrespect anyone because of their life style. I just feel that homosexuality is not something that I want around me. This is hard because I have at least one cousin that I know for sure is gay. I love him to death but I can’t help when I see him(or any other gay person)that he was not that way. I think about the affect that it has on his life. How hard it is for homosexuals in general to be comfortable. I know a whole lot of you will be frowning and shaking your heads and fingers at me but this is how I feel.
The situation in Nigeria has me a bit disturbed as well. I could not imagine not being able to talk to my loved ones because he or she is gay. Or not being able to watch certain television shows and so on. What they are doing is stripping people of their most basic freedoms. I think we should live and let live. Only God can judge me and only God can judge you as well.
Peace
IAMNOTANIGGA
Cluizel / May 9, 2007
You know Sunsail…I meant to say it then…but laws like this are usually a smoke screen to keep the public consumed. Its a powerful enough subject to make people argue
So powerful, a majority of people will ignore a messed up economy and a useless war because a certain someone is against it and will elect him a second time around.
::stepping off soapbox::
Bygbaby / May 10, 2007
I am happy that I reposted & this is what I am talking bout.
Aulelia, of course you can call me Tafari! The only thing you can’t call me is a nappy headed hoe. LOL
Peace,
Tafari aKa Bygbaby
Ebony / May 11, 2007
I totally agree with you and as a heterosexual man, I really appreciate to read these words from you! I am a in a very solid and committed relationship with antother woman. We’re getting married on June 30 in Canada where it is TOTALLY LEGAL for us to do so. I agree that people need to deal with thier own dirt before they try and deal with someone else’s issues. Being a lesbian is actually not an issue for me. I am VERY comfortable with who I am, and I believe somethimes that makes others uncomfortable.
Again thanks for boosting my spirits today, and I’ll keep track of your Blog
Bygbaby / May 11, 2007
Hi Ebony, congrats to you & your boo on your pending wedding!!! The date will be here before you know it.
“am VERY comfortable with who I am, and I believe sometimes that makes others uncomfortable.”
People tend to hate on things that they do/cannot understand which is why I am at odds with religion most time. Somethings are just a matter of common sense to me.
daez / May 16, 2007
I have relatives who are gay, dear friends who are gay, and the one thing I know is NO ONE would choose the pain society tries to place on individuals who are SGL! My cousins who I watched grow up from birth did not choose their life to be as it is, so for those who don’t understand I say try compassion…it’s not our right to take away another person’s simple civil rights to exist…worry about your own rights, they could be stripped away just as easily…ugh, I’ll stop babbling now, I never make sense when it comes to this topic!(((HUGS)))
….just me…daez
The Second Sixty-Eight / May 18, 2007
It ain’t for me to judge. That is what the One above is for. My job is to love and promote positive.
People do need to chill the fuck out on being all up in other folks business. That is not the way.
In fact don’t most of the people who discriminate claim to be religious in the first place? Don’t the holy books tell you NOT to act this way? That is my problem with religion, folk like to talk it, but don’t like to walk it.
Bygbaby / May 19, 2007
Daez & The Second Sixty-Eight,I am so happy that I reposted this. Your comments just go to show that there are real people out there who get it!
Daez – I think homosexuality is something that you have as part of you (genetic I guess) but I do see how some people hit switches & make an obvious decision to live that life in & out. I forgot what my point was but you are right “NO ONE would choose the pain society tries to place on individuals who are SGL!”
The Second Sixty-Eight – “In fact don’t most of the people who discriminate claim to be religious in the first place?” Then damn Christians LOL
Peace,
Bygbaby
Anonymous / June 1, 2007
Homophobia came to Africa courtesy of European Christians. All African nations/countries/tribes had histories of same-gender relationships that were widely accepted until Europeans and their psycho-Christianity came along to vilify it. Check the book “Boy-Wives and Female-Husbands: Studies in African Homosexualities.”
Thanks for reposting this. Glad to find your blog.
Bygbaby / June 1, 2007
Anonymous – Thanks for the book reference, I will be sharing this with one of my African friends who claim that homosexual relationships never happened in Africa & we debated this topic for a while. My stance, how do you explain homosexuality that occurs in indigenous populations, where the white man has not appeared & forced his beliefs & practices.
“Thanks for reposting this. Glad to find your blog.” Me too!