This evening after dinner, my oldest child Sade (9 & is actually my sister that I am raising since the death of our father 5 years ago) asked me to see a few pictures of our dad because she misses him. I told her that I had to dig them out because all of my pictures are buried in our coat closet under mounds of shit.

So after everyone went to bed & I caught a breather I stated digging. I have so many photos that are still in the original envelope from CVS, Walgreen’s ect it’s not funny. Because I have not been in my pictures for so long, I had no idea what envelope had what so it was like playing Russian Roulette to find pictures of my dad.

Well after searching for like 15 minutes I stated to get lucky! I found some pictures of Sade when she 1st moved north with Suite Suzy, Oiliva & I, then I started to find pictures of my dad. The 1st picture I found of him was one where he had on his Army fatigues with the biggest smile ever on his face. It was a good picture so I placed it at Sade’s place at the table for her to see in the morning along with a few other miscellaneous shots.

After I was done placing the photos, I decided to pick up the one of my dad in the fatigues & stared at it for a while then I started crying. Looking at the image of my father smiling gave me the urge to hug him, I actually felt my self moving to embrace but no one was there & I continued to cry silently.

This was the first time in a long time where I actually looked at any photos of him & I had this reaction, I am interested in seeing how Sade will react in the morning when she comes to the breakfast table.

It is so amazing how a simple image can evoke so much emotion when you least expect it! My heart Chakra is so open now.

I also dug up another shot of me & my dad taken on his blue 1974 Firebird.

Dad, If you are reading this as I type or if you read my Blog from where ever you are, I love you, I miss you & I am still going to bitch slap you when I meet you at the cross roads (you know why).

BK Mindspill Mindspill