As I am enjoying a nice buzz right now from Mango Malibu, Blue Curaçao & Pineapple juice, listening to Mike Jones, now is the perfect time to post about some ghetto hot mess. First I want to start off by sharing information that a Blogger buddy sent me (Hi Brunsli), then transition to talking about iced grills.
Because I am ghetto by nature, I am pretty forgiving for certain things that I consider as ghetto, but there comes a time when some things are just way too ghetto to get a pass without comment. Here goes: Over the weekend in the Bronx, NY (Flamingo Lounge), there was a shootout a club after some drama jumped off between a partygoer & the DJ. After the shit jumped off things escalated and ending with the club getting sprayed with bullets, 1 dead & 2 injured with one of the injured being spared from life threatening injuries because her WEAVE stopped the fucking bullet.
Why does this count as ghetto? I am not tripping on the shoot out, been there down that, I am tripping on the life saving hair weave. I mean, how this is your weave to stop a damn bullet? The questions that ran through my mind were, how much weave did home girl have & how much Fantatia Sculpting spritz did she have in that shit? The bullet went through a door, but got stopped the bullet, WOW. I am sure that she will where weave for life & rumors have it, that she is known as Super Weave after the accident.
“Gunfire erupted inside a Bronx nightclub early yesterday, leaving one patron dead and two others wounded – including a woman whose thick hair weave snared the bullet that pierced a door and grazed her scalp, police sources said.”
Being from Detroit, I guess I should not be shocked by this piece of the story taking into account that I have seen hair weaves of all sorts. Long, short, unimaginable colors, shaped like Easter baskets, helicopters, breasts etc. I can see it now, at the next Hair Wars event, there will be a hair weave that is coated with Kevlar
Moving on, one of my friends sent me a web link to get my very own iced grill designed by Dirty South DJ & Rapper Paul Wall. When I first visited the site, I knew this shit had to be a joke but the sad thing is, it was not. After searching through the online catalog, I found a grill that I was interested in (the Expensive Taste Top) but after I saw that it was 800 per tooth, I decided that I will wait until I can afford at least 4 teeth to cover my front, I will worry about the side later.
Later I shared my plans with my wife (Suite Suzy) who quickly said, “if you can afford those teeth, why was your car repoed last week.” Because I was on front street, I could not respond.
If you are interested in a set of fronts by Paul Wall you may want to know that Grills come standard with SI quality diamonds, they offer the option for you to upgrade to VS quality diamonds. Flawless to the naked eye (SI) is sufficient for anyone concerned about beauty but not wanting to pay extra for rarity you can’t see.
I am originally from Birmingham AL, & one thing I hate seeing is all of the fucking gold teeth. People are living in shacks with metal roofs but have $800 worth or teeth in their mouths. How backwards is that? On the other hand, maybe it is all of us who think that fronts are a) just plain nasty & b) ghetto as hell; that may be wrong. Maybe there is a benefit to having them. OK I am still buzzing, why did I make that last statement & am I boring you with this bullshit.
**Paul Wall Grill FAQ featuring my thoughts**
How long does it take to get my fronts?
Paul Wall: Once you order online and we receive your payment, you will need to find a local dentist and get a mouth mold made and send it to us. Our website lets you look up a local dentist in your area. Once we receive the mouth mold, it will take our jewelers 5-7 days to make your custom crafted the grill. Each grill is custom made to fit your mouth mold, so it takes several days to make the grill. We will then notify you that the grill is ready and ship it (unless there is any payment due).
Bygbaby: The average nigga don’t even go to the dentist, how is this going to work?
Do you have a layaway program?
Paul Wall: Not at this time, but start saving up! We will be here.
Bygbaby: If you are really a baller, do you really need a lay-a-way plan?
Can I get a deal?
Paul Wall: Our POP TRUNK style starts at 65$ per tooth. Also see HOT BOY, BALLER ON A BUDGET, WORD OF MOUTH, DISCO BALL and SNO CONE for lower priced options!
Bygbaby: Why come black people always looking for a damn deal? IS this nigganomics in full effect?
Can you get a grill with braces?
Paul Wall: No, sorry! But start saving up. We will be here for you when you get them off!
Bygbaby: If you got braces, aren’t you tired of having a metal mouth?
What happens if you want a grill but have crooked teeth?
Paul Wall: When you get a grill, the inside of the grill is made to fit your teeth exactly. The outside is made to look straight and normal, no matter what your real teeth actually look like.
Bygbaby: If your grill is already jacked, why fuck it up even more?
OK I just woke up dtooling at my desk; my drinks kinda knocked me out a little.